TV Causes  Incredibly Hot Strawberry Goodness!
by KolKolKol
Summary: What can I say? Light watches too much TV. L finds strawberry-flavored condoms. And numerous toys. And an incredibly hot, graphic lemon ensues.


**A/N: Oh my God, I finished it! :D I thought I'd never do it, it takes me such a long time to write lemons, and I haven't touched this one for weeks, but I finally got my muse or something! Thanks to my friend Red, who came up with the idea for strawberry condoms. ^^ I'm sure she'll be very mindraped by this.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Death Note! If I did, this would happen in EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE. EVER. **

**WARNINGS: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC LEMON! We're talking toys and everything, all that smexy goodness. So please, if that's not your brand of vodka, don't drink it. **

**Enjoy!  
**

Television was probably one of the most pointless things on Earth. Or so thought L, who was habitually forced to watch the idiot box with Light every night. Light claimed that he liked to watch the news, so he "knew what was going on in the world." Perhaps it was just that L had so many sources, he knew what was going on almost before it happened, but if you asked the detective, he would say that television is useless. It also planted ideas into people's minds using subliminal messaging, and blatantly obvious news reports on what household object will give you cancer _that_ day.

Unfortunately, for all of Light's smarts and cleverness, he was just as vulnerable to information from the media as any normal person. Especially the news stories about germs - like he wasn't an almost-insufferable germaphobe already. The bathroom and his desk were lined with antibacterial hand sanitizer, and he would practically go into some type of fit if L left anything lying around for too long because it could "attract bugs."

L, on the other hand, would much rather have spent the hour or so they spent watching the news doing something constructive, or having sex with Light. Only he could put it that simply; Light got uncomfortable when the subject came up. Not because he was embarrassed, but because since L had no shame in talking about it, Light believed that someone should. In truth, his pussyfooting provided for endless fun on the older one's part. Although Light was so hesitant to voice much of anything on the subject, he had proven to be much more perverted that many people would have thought, which was greatly pleasing. Of course, it helped that L was the one with the extreme oral fixation.

Now, L just knew that Light was going to get something stupid out of tonight's news. This insipid program, featuring a short lady with voluptuous hair and seemingly-swollen lips, was warning the watchers about STDs. Their facts, so obviously exaggerated, were shaky at best, and they made it seem as though every person who ever had sex then got gonorrhea or syphilis and was now either dying or bleeding profusely from the anus. Of course, that simply wasn't true; L could think of so many couples he either knew of or heard about who were free of STDs, including himself and Light. And yet...

()()()

"Are you...joking?" L asked, arching an eyebrow. That hadn't been Light's 'pushing on L's chest to get his shirt off' thing, but his 'pushing on L's chest to get him off him' thing. Light always had the most frustrating habit of stopping everything right when it was getting good. Specifically, in this case, when L was attempting to get Light's pants off while straddling him, both men breathing hard.

"No, L, I'm not. I'm serious," Light said. L shifted off his lover and crouched next to him, giving him a death glare.

"So you allow our escapade to escalate this far, and then you tell me no?" L asked, narrowing his eyes.

Light looked slightly afraid, but didn't retract his order. "Yeah, I kind of got carried away."

"Light, you're being ridiculous," L said. "We've done this so many times-"

"You mean you don't have a number?" Light asked incredulously.

In fact, L did, but he was sure that Light wouldn't want to know how high it was.

"We've done this so many times that you'd think it would be safe by now," L continued as if Light had never interrupted.

"I'm sorry, but it's just safer this way!" Light said, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling determinedly.

"Safe. Light, neither of us has an STD," L reminded him. "We. Do. Not. Need. Condoms."

"Better safe than sorry," Light repeated. "That's what we've heard all our lives as kids."

L hadn't, but he'd heard it somewhere, just not all his life.

"Light, this is idiotic. If one of us had an STD, the other would have gotten it by now. Unless you have something you wish to tell me-"

"No way!" Light said. "You're not going to accuse me of sleeping around."

"And I have nothing of the sort to tell you. Ergo, we're clean," L finished. No matter what Light's next response was, he was going to pay for that. It was just like him to get L riled up and then just stop everything because 'we need to have safe sex!' all of a sudden. Truly, after all the months they had been sleeping together, if one of them had it, they both did now.

"What if we're not, though? What if one of us has herpes and then we both die?" Light asked.

L looked carefully at the younger man's worried features and still-crossed arms, and decided that he wasn't even turned on enough anymore to pursue the subject. Eventually, their squabble calmed down, and L was left sitting next to a now-sleeping Light.

_First it was no more sex during work, then it was no more ball gags, now it's no more sex without a condom,_ L thought bitterly. At times, he wondered what was wrong with Light.

()()()

The next day, L worked on autopilot, all the while wondering how to rectify last night's situation. While sitting through yet another news reel about an over-dramatized house fire with Light, he had come up with two solutions.

1. Buy condoms.

2. Make Light take birth control.

Weighing the two options against each other wasn't difficult to do; condoms were obviously the better choice, seeing as L wasn't sure what effect birth control pills would have on a male. That, and they took a while to actually work, and Light was sure to start another fight - this time physical - if he had to be even less dignified that he already was.

However, L abhorred the idea of condoms. First, how was he supposed to obtain them? He himself didn't like going out in public, for safety reasons as well as the fact that everyone staring was tiring, nothing could be shipped to the Task Force building - how was he supposed to explain that, anyway? - and he couldn't send Watari to buy any. Mainly because Watari didn't know about L's relationship with Light, yet the man knew that L knew of no other people he would actually need condoms for. And in any case, Watari was getting old, and seeing an old person buying condoms wasn't precisely what avoided being noticed.

By this time, Light had fallen asleep on the couch head in L's lap. L glowered - it was almost like his lover was taunting him now - and just stared at the television. They were still covering the house fire, which no one had been hurt in, and the house was still structurally sound, for God's sake. Nobody needed this much coverage.

And then, it changed to a commercial break. Usually, L hated commercials, mainly for their annoying little insipid jingles that you couldn't get out of your head for hours, and overly-happy actors who were obviously getting paid to sell a product they knew nothing about. However, this particular one was different.

L started off looking bored, yet slightly interested, thumb in his mouth and eyes fixed on the screen. When the commercial was only halfway through, he was smirking and carefully slipping Light off his lap. When Light awoke, the news was back on and L was nearly out the door.

"Hn? What's up, Ryuzaki?" Light asked tiredly, blinking heavily.

"Nothing; I'm just going out for a minute," L told him. "Go back to sleep, and I'll be home in five minutes."

()()()

'Ribbed for her pleasure.'

Now, _that_ was what made L smirk.

For the first time, L was happy about television. Well, he was thankful for condom commercials that would solve his problems and make everyone happy. And let him fuck Light. First of all, the condoms were sold in pretty much every generic 24-hour convenience store, one of which was not two minutes away from the Task Force building. Second, they were ribbed, which would at least make Light happy, or so L deducted. Third, they were so thin, it was apparently like using nothing at all, which was what L wanted in the first place.

Fourth, they were strawberry-flavored. L assumed this was for blow jobs.

Strawberry-flavored, extra-thin, ribbed condoms. There. That fulfilled Light's needs, and L's at the same time.

The cashier looked at him oddly when he went up to the register, but he ignored that; judging from the weird cracked-out hobo in aisle three who was talking to a stray cat, a slouching insomniac buying condoms at midnight wasn't the strangest thing she'd ever seen. Or was about to see, seeing as the hobo seemed to be trying to drop his pants. L left in a hurry.

When L got back to his and Light's room - avoiding questions from Watari, who seemed to understand that he didn't want to answer - Light had turned off the television and was fast asleep. Weighing his options, L regarded his lover carefully, thumb stuck in his mouth. If he woke up Light to have sex - or for any reason - there was an eighty-six percent chance that Light would just become angry, yell at him, and go back to sleep. And, in any case, it was already 12:30 in the morning - neither of them would have enough time tonight, or energy to work the next morning.

L sighed and stowed the small plastic grocery bag in the bedside table, the one on his side of the bed. Light's bedside table was meticulously cleaned, ordered, and had a multitude of hand sanitizer bottles lined up on it. L's bedside table, however, was littered with candy wrappers and various other...questionable things. The cabinet under L's bedside table, unlike Light's which was filled with weird germaphobe things like tissues, there were several even more questionable things. Just a different kind of questionable.

The new strawberry condoms.

Heated lube.

A vibrator.

Cock ring.

_Vibrating_ cock ring.

Ball gag (which Light forbid L to use ever again, unfortunately).

Blindfold.

The chains that were previously used to tie L and Light together back when Light was still a suspect.

Regular handcuffs.

And - strangely enough, this was Light's idea - a leather riding crop.

L smirked as he clambered into his usual sitting position beside Light, snagging his computer. Light mumbled and rolled over, pretty much pressing himself up against L. The older man glowered again - even when he was asleep, Light insisted on teasing him. He'd have to punish him for that.

()()()

"Ryuzaki, I've told you a million times," Light droned, as he'd said it many, many times before. "I am going to watch the news so I know if another world war breaks out."

L rolled his eyes and ignored him, pushing Light down on the couch, quickly straddling him and pressing his lips against Light's, moving his body roughly against his. Light moaned and pulled L closer, twisting his hand in his lover's hair. Forcefully, L ran his tongue along Light's lips, not requesting entrance, but demanding it. The dominant quality to the man was...actually quite enjoyable, Light decided, giving in to L's order and parting his lips.

L quickly took every advantage he had while Light was still gasping for coherency beneath him; maybe he wouldn't need the condoms after all. Though, he had to admit, he was now very curious as to what the experience would be like with strawberry-flavored condoms. But if it meant getting around to screwing Light faster, then so be it.

Light moaned and started fingering L's shirt, trying to get it over his head. Reluctantly, L released Light's lips to rid himself of the offending clothing, but immediately sealed his own lips against his lover's neck. Sucking and biting at sensitive skin, L knew Light would have a hard job of covering this particular love bite. The younger man twisted under him, trying futilely to get L to stop. Of course, the detective wouldn't; he was going to pay Light back for the night where Light had, to use the phrase of the time, blue-balled him.

"Wait, Ryuzaki," Light panted, shoving L up again. "I'm sorry, but I still think -"

"Then come to the bedroom," L interrupted, pulling his lover off the couch and all but yanking him to their bed, Light objecting all the way.

"You know full well it's not because I don't want to have sex on the couch," Light said, dragging his feet in protest. In fact, they had had sex on the couch various times, and in other places, as well - the couch barely made the list.

L ignored him and pushed him back down, quickly hopping up on the bed and hooking his legs around Light's hips again, making sure that his hips ground against the younger man's whenever he moved. Light did his best to hold back a moan, and L frowned in disappointment.

"Now Light, I thought we had this clear," he murmured, leaning over to his bedside table and grabbing the first thing he found, which turned out to be the handcuffs. Light's eyes tracked the cuffs warily, then flicked up to L, attempting to be trying to discern whether or not his partner was actually going to use them. Sure enough, L firmly grabbed Light's wrists, clamped the handcuffs over them, and threw them over the bedpost.

"Ryuzaki!" Light exclaimed, jerking on the chains.

L placed a finger over Light's lips, staring at him intently. "Use my name when we're like this," he reminded him softly.

Light blushed and nodded. "Lawliet," he muttered, "I told you-"

"I know what you said. And I've thought of a solution," L said, smiling. "Now, we may resume where we left off two nights ago."

Light moaned as L kissed him again, twisting his hands in Light's hair and pulling him closer. Trusting that L wouldn't take advantage of him (too much), Light bucked his hips up. The detective growled and pulled on Light's hair harder. Oddly enough, the pain felt more like pleasure to the younger man, and L kept it in mind that his lover was a masochist, no matter what Light said. L lowered his head and nipped at Light's neck, reveling in the moans he was rewarded with.

"L-Lawliet," Light groaned, and L nodded.

"Better," he said.

Since Light had finally agreed to be with L, the older detective had considered him solely and entirely his. After all, it made sense, and though the younger one complained and griped about L's possessiveness, he secretly loved it. Well, not too secretly, seeing as it was quite obvious to L. Of course, it had taken a while for L to be able to call Light a lover rather than just a boyfriend, or whatever the hell it was being called these days, L didn't know or care. It was well worth it though, _very_ well worth it, as L was so very fond of reminding Light.

"Ohh, Lawliet..." Light was letting his moans flow unrestricted now as L kissed and nipped his way down Light's neck, pausing at his chest to take Light's nipple into his mouth, licking slowly in circles until Light was practically begging him to stop, straining his hips up toward the older detective.

"I thought you were the one who wanted to go about this the 'safe' way," L murmured, releasing the nipple from his mouth, which was quickly protested against.

Light was amazed he was even semi-coherent by that point, he was so high off pleasure. "Lawliet ... _ngh_ ... please," he moaned. He wasn't even completely sure what exactly he was begging for by that time, just that he needed something only L could give to him. He watched with sex-hazed eyes as the raven-haired detective reached back into the bedside table and retrieved something he couldn't quite identify by that point. L smirked almost evilly and leaned back over Light's bare form, kissing him deeply, albeit roughly, as his hands reached below Light's hips. Light thought nothing of it, really he was incapable of thinking about more than one thing, but clenched his hands futilely in the air.

"Lawliet - _ahh!_ - please unchain me," Light begged, suddenly cutting himself off with a loud unintentional moan as something started vibrating around his cock. Of course, the vibrating cock ring - he'd nearly forgotten about it. And he'd barely registered L removing his khakis, too. L smiled against Light's lips, which he had needfully pressed against the detective's.

Truth be told, L was enjoying the fuck out of this. And it was fully his intention to continue grabbing random sex toys out of the cabinet until he happened to find the condoms. Though now, judging from Light's flushed cheeks and heavy breathing, he wondered if Light could hold out that long, or if he himself could. He decided to ignore it - hell, Light had had multiple orgasms in a single session before, and he'd be willing to bet that the college student wouldn't be so adverse to the idea now.

L resumed his torturing of Light's nipples, nipping and sucking at one while pinching and tugging at the other. He was moaning softly just from Light's own moans, which were growing louder by the second. L quickly decided that the cock ring was going to end it too soon and hooked it off, tossing it carelessly back into the cabinet. Light groaned in protest at the loss of stimulation to his member, gazing up at L, wordlessly begging him to get on with it.

The older decided to oblige, reaching into the cabinet one last time to pull out a small, flimsy cardboard box. Even Light could recognize what it was, or at least the basics of it, and chuckled.

"Really, Lawliet? That's what you went to the store to buy?" he asked, still pulling at the handcuffs. L smirked and nodded.

"You said that you wouldn't do it any other way, so I found a means of fulfilling that need, as well as my own," L explained absently, struggling with the box. He was sitting straddling Light's hips, his clothed need pressing against Light's own. Light bucked and shifted restlessly under his lover, giving the handcuffs a harsh tug.

Once L had the box open, it was tossed to the side as he grabbed one of the small packages. L paused, looking at Light. He finally smiled and leaned down to run his lips slowly across Light's neck.

"Would you like the handcuffs unchained?" he asked against Light's soft skin.

"Ahh, yes, Lawliet, yes!" Light groaned, violently slamming his hips up into the insomniac's. L smirked and gave the skin of Light's collarbone a reprimanding nip.

"Tell me how much you would like it," L demanded softly. He loved torturing Light, loved how Light's needy moans would pierce the air, dispersed by hot curses as he begged.

"Ngh ... Lawliet, please," Light murmured, trying to run their erections together again, but L refused, holding his lover's hips down.

"Tell me," L repeated, sex-darkened eyes staring into Light's desperate ones.

"Lawliet, take off the fucking handcuffs! I want to touch you, hold you down and suck you off! Please, Lawliet, goddammit!" Light yelled at him, tears nearly springing to his eyes. Ah, L loved that moment. The one where Light completely swallowed his pride, and then some. He smiled and nodded, scrabbling for the key on the nightstand and unchained his lover, immediately cupping Light's face and kissing him roughly. He loved the feel of one of Light's hands eagerly tangling in his hair, the other slipping past the waistband of his jeans and palming his heated erection through his boxers. Not it was L's turn to moan, dropping his head onto Light's shoulder, letting himself get swept up in the sea of pleasure and lust.

Light smiled, getting off on both his and L's desire. He took advantage of the moment and flipped them over so L was leaning against the headboard and Light was sitting on his hips. The younger paused a moment and located the small package that had been dropped on the side of the bed in the handcuff ordeal. Light wondered how to get a condom on L without his complaining - he wouldn't even stand to have a tight shirt, how was he supposed to like a condom?

"It's okay," L said, catching Light's attention. "For God's sake, I thought you were the eager one."

That was when the latter decided that it was time L's jeans and boxers came off, and impatiently tugged them over his slim hips, where L kicked them off. Light smirked and claimed L's lips in a fierce kiss, at the same time sliding the condom over L's dick. It was an easy fit, mainly due to the lube that was somehow built into the condom. L moaned into their kiss, involuntarily bucking his hips up into Light's. Both moaned heatedly, and Light began to copy what L had done to him earlier - kissing along L's jawline, down his chest to his waist.

He glanced up, a teasing sparkle in his eyes, to which L moaned and shifted eagerly. "Light ... please," he murmured.

Having had enough teasing, Light leaned down and gave L's member a slow, experimental lick, to see how it was different with the condom. Surprisingly, it really did taste like strawberries, and L didn't seem to mind, for he was still voicing his own pleasure. Satisfied, Light took the head into his mouth, running his tongue lightly along it. It felt slightly different, but Light could still feel the warmth underneath, just with a dissimilar taste.

"How's that?" Light asked, briefly picking his head up.

"More," L groaned, "please, Light, more..."

Smirking, Light returned to what he had been doing, this time taking more and more of L's length into his mouth, sucking harshly to make up for what feeling might have been lost. Encouraged by L's moans, he took in as much of L's member as he could, bobbing his head up and down like it was something he'd done a million times before.

"Ohh, Light, _yes_, oh God," L moaned, not even trying to quiet himself as Light did everything he knew L loved, everything he knew drove L wild. Light smirked - L may be the best at pretty much everything, but only he knew precisely what to do and where to do it to reduce the detective to this. He loved that. Humming at just the right pitch, a probing tongue there, a feather-light scrape of teeth there, he knew exactly what he was doing, which benefited both men.

"Mmm," Light hummed loudly, needing to hear more of L's delicious sounds. The detective never was one to let down, voicing his enjoyment as vocally as he could. Neither were worried about whether anyone would hear them - L had specifically chosen the room on an abandoned floor as far away from everything else as he could once he and Light had established the fact that Light was a screamer.

Light quickly took L's member in as fast as he could and made swallowing motions, constricting his throat around L's dick. L let out a loud moan of ecstasy, arching his back and fisting his hands in Light's hair.

"Light, please, enough, enough," he repeated, and Light reluctantly lifted his head from L's hips, only to be violently slammed back against the bed and had his lips smothered by L's desperate kiss, the latter's hands roaming down Light's body.

"Mm, Lawliet, please," Light begged, spreading his legs wider, "please, take me..."

L knew the drill - if he didn't distract Light while he was preparing him, it would induce the most annoying grumbles and bitches he'd ever heard. So, while he slipped a finger into Light's entrance, L pinched and pulled at Light's nipple, slowly creating a love bite just above his collarbone. Light's moans were almost at their loudest now, allowing L to insert the second finger, which he scissored inside Light's warm entrance, eagerly anticipating when he would be slamming himself into it, instead of just gently preparing him. When L put the third finger in, he tangled his free hand in Light's hair and jerked it up to his lips harshly, relishing Light's masochistic groans and feeling the warmth just below his hips strengthen increasingly.

"Ready, Light?" L asked slowly, placing himself just outside Light's entrance. Light nodded and buried his face into the crook of L's neck as L penetrated Light. The younger man couldn't cold back a whimper, and L pulled him into another intense kiss - he knew how much it hurt Light, no matter how many times they did this.

Once L was fully inside Light, he was still, forcing himself to take deep breaths as Light adjusted to his size. It was torture, pure torture, being enclosed in that tight warmth and not being allowed to move. He gazed down at his lover expectantly, waiting for when Light finally looked back up at him and nodded, saying, "It's okay, do it, Lawliet."

L immediately pulled halfway out and slammed back in again, moaning desperately along with Light as he quickly set a pace of hurried thrusts. Finally, he hit Light's sweet spot, where the man under him called out his name in pure rapture and twisted his hands in L's hair as he repeatedly hit that spot over and over again.

"Ngh ... hah ..."

As L thrust into Light, Light wrapped his legs tightly around L's slim waist and placed hurried kisses along L's jaw and neck, only stopping to throw his head back and moan out L's name. Each time he heard that, L would slam ever harder into Light's prostate, desperate to hear his name repeated in that lust-thick voice. It was the best thing he'd ever heard, and this was the best he'd ever felt. And it was all with his Light-kun, the only man he had ever loved and trusted as much as this. And, gazing up and L as he made love to him, Light could see that, and held L tighter to him, wordlessly thanking him for opening up that much.

"Lawliet! Deeper, please dear God, _harder_!" Light cried, beginning to meet L's quick thrusts with upward bucks of his own, vehemently seeking the release that only L could give to him so nicely. L reached down to Light's erection, pumping it as smoothly as he could between their moving bodies, savoring every sound of pleasure that escaped Light's lips.

L could tell that Light's release was nearing from the increase in the volume of his groans, the college student's upward thrusts becoming faster, desperate for that wave of searing pleasure that would engulf them both. L worked harder to bring that to his lover, driving his erection repeatedly into Light's prostate.

"Ohh ... ah, _Lawliet_!" Light yelled, and L felt Light's entrance constrict impossibly around his needy erection and his lover's seed spill across their chests. It was too much for him.

"_Light_!" he called in return as the pleasure sent him over the edge, riding his orgasm out. All he could see was white, all he could feel was Light's lips on his, all he could hear was Light's soft voice telling him, "I love you..."

L settled himself down beside Light, the brunette smiling and curling up beside him, resting his head on L's chest. Both attempted to regain their breath, and L wrapped his arms around Light's shoulders contentedly. He remembered that he still had the condom on and quickly took it off, tossing it into the trashcan at the side of the bed. He could feel Light smirking against his skin.

"Mm, I love you, Lawliet," Light murmured, looking up at his spent lover. L leaned down for a final kiss, this one slower, driven by love instead of lust.

"I love you too, Light," he said.

Just as they were about to fall asleep, Light muttered, "Lawliet?"

"Hm?" L asked, halfway asleep already.

"Next time, forget the condoms."

**A/N: *sigh* Phew! Finally done! Please, I'm trying to get better at lemons, so this might not be incredibly good. I know that I've got a few lemons up already that ... really suck. XD But anyhow, reviews would be INCREDIBLY EPICALLY AWESOME! **

**FAVORITE THIS LEMON IF YOU WISH THIS WERE CANON! **

**COMMENT IF YOU WANT A BIGGER PENIS! ...Because this lemon has magical powers, and if you comment, it will grant you a bigger penis. If you're a girl ... you'll get a guy with a big penis, or something ... I don't know, I'm just a weird person who finished this at midnight.  
**


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